Are we living in a war zone?

Sometimes I look at places that live under oppression and see that through that they somehow use the difficulty to bring out the positive things and beauty grows in the brokenness. This can make me wonder whether we need a common threat before we start to pull together as a community. Yet, here in our very communities we live under the oppression that substance abuse brings and we do not seem to be good at fight back as a community. What does it mean to be a community that comes together to challenge the oppressors? Who are the oppressors in the first place?

What now?

Last week I was taking a break from the dissertation and so enjoyed a Saturday out and about visiting Connell, Luing, Easdale and Seil. I drove over the Atlantic and went on a tiny ferry. Theo and I sang songs and examined slate and looked at the sparkling sea. (We decided to make a calendar.)

This week the dissertation is finished and I just don't know what to do with myself. Should I go out and about and enjoy the day or start on the mammoth load of tasks that have been accruing during study lock down?

The home straight...

That last bit of the race. You are well past the halfway mark, and you can hear the crowds cheering you on. The last bit of a race is often the fastest and most comfortable bit of the race. You are in a good stride, the adrenaline has kicked in and from nowhere the energy appears to run faster and stronger and with more grace than you have ever before.

Keeping running. The finish line is in sight.

(Then you can start planning the next race you want to train for.)

For every girl and boy

For every girl who is tired of acting weak when she is strong,
there is a boy tired of appearing strong when he is vulnerable.
For every boy who is burdened with the constant expectation of knowing everything,
there is a girl tired of people not trusting her intelligence.
For every girl who is tired of being called over-sensitive,
there is a boy who fears to be gentle, to weep.
For every boy for whom competition is the only way to prove his masculinity,
there is a girl who is called unfeminine when she competes.
For every girl who throws out her E-Z-Bake oven,
there is a boy who wishes to find one.
For every boy struggling not to let advertising dictate his desires,
there is a girl facing the ad industry’s attacks on her self-esteem.
For every girl who takes a step toward her liberation,
there is a boy who finds the way to freedom a little easier.

Adapted from a poem by Nancy R. Smith

Warrior of Light

Paulo Coelho is one of my favourite authors. Here's what he has to say about leadership... I hope it brings some light to you too.

A long time ago, in my unconscious, I changed the word “leader” for the expression “warrior of light”. What is a warrior of light?

Warriors of light keep the spark in their eyes.

They are in the world, are part of other people’s lives, and began their journey without a rucksack and sandals. They are often cowards. They don’t always act right.

Warriors of light suffer over useless things, have some petty attitudes, and at times feel they are incapable of growing. They frequently believe they are unworthy of any blessing or miracle.

Warriors of light are not always sure what they are doing here. Often they stay up all night thinking that their lives have no meaning.

Every warrior of light has felt the fear of joining in battle. Every warrior of light has once lost faith in the future.

Every warrior of light has once trodden a path that was not his. Every warrior of light has once felt that he was not a warrior of light. Every warrior of light has once failed in his spiritual obligations.

That is what makes him a warrior of light; because he has been through all this and has not lost the hope of becoming better than he was.

That is why they are warriors of light. Because they make mistakes. Because they wonder. Because they look for a reason – and they will certainly find one.

Making all things new...

God has a good habit of making all things new. I take advantage of this all the time. When given a fresh wind to blast out the cobwebs I face it and enjoy the thrill of it all. I'm just back from a week on the east coast of America - it felt a bit like that. January had been full of all kinds of strain and uncertainty and a change was what was needed to give my weary self a rest.

It's funny how traveling far away, but doing the same kinds of things can give you a break from yourself - or perhaps reconnect the broken bits. While I was away I spent time with friends, attended classes and did some photography. All things I would usually do at home. But I was doing these with a sense of purpose. Taking time to soak up what was going on and enjoy the chance to rest when it came my way.

I met old friends, acquaintances from Scotland and made some new friends too. A common interest can really provide a strong connection to someone you just met. When God's your connection - anything can happen (if you let it).

Walking the streets of Princeton I found the space to breathe.
Walking the streets of New York I got excited again.
Walking the streets of Washington I felt at home.
Walking the Mound in Edinburgh I felt ready to be home.

Traveling is like stepping in and out of the wardrobe to Narnia. The other world seems just beyond your reach when you're not actually in it. You miss things when you're not there, but you gain other things. My concept of heaven is that all those places and people are joined up. You don't have to be without something in order to have another. Not a "having it all" in the material sense, but a sense of peace about not being apart from the people you love.

Meeting up with old friends is like a little piece of heaven. When you have those real moments of connection, the brokenness is held with someone else and the scars fade a little. Everything is made new.

January and being thirty

Keep going. It's January and everyone is wondering if anything will ever change and if this year is going to be the same as all the others or worse. Well I have it on good authority that this is the year for the best so far. So keep going.

Many of my friends are older (much older than me) and having watched many of them go through the trauma that is turning thirty I was interested to see how that would turn out for me. Well I want to tell anyone who is not yet at that wonderful age, that it's awesome! I spent some time considering whether to mark the occasion or let it just slip by and decided it was time to do it in style.

Some of my friends had had parties, some had had wild weekends camping and others just stayed home. I decided I wanted to have as many of the people that I love and that have contributed to me being me all in one place. I decided my house was not that place. I didn't want to worry about how everyone would fit in, or answering the door, or pouring drinks all night, or cleaning up afterwards. I didn't want to have it in a place that would make anyone feel out of place. I wanted everyone to have a fun time. I wanted music. I wanted dancing. I wanted my family. I wanted my friends from near and far.

I got everything I wanted and a whole lot more.

There were a few heartstrings missing, because of prior commitments, but almost every aspect of my life was represented in some way: family, school, Aberdeen Uni, ICC, Strathclyde Uni, Nebraska, New College, Galgael, St Paul's, Govan, Iona Community, Stepps, After8, the Dennistoun Massive, Vestry Mob/Sunday Night Club, Carberry Festival and beyond...

I loved it. People mixed. People danced and they certainly drank. I hope they had a good time. I had the best night of my life so far. Thanks to everyone who helped me celebrate getting this far.

(And if you're reading - you know who you are, thanks for the dance.)